Mom Thoughts. May 9, 2008

The Nicest Lady In The World just wished me a happy Mother’s Day in the longest, most drawn out way possible on her way out. It’s just her way. But it was sweet and almost made me cry. It’s been one of those days.

I recently lamented the suckiness of Mother’s Day. Without going all out for Father’s Day it’s hard to teach the significance of the day without flat out saying “it’s my day, do something nice”. But we’ll get there, he always makes me something but I don’t really care about that. We’re going to get to spend the day doing what we want since my Mom’s working a horse show and my Grandma will be with her kids I don’t get along with.

At first I was sad about this, but now I’m kind of excited. After this week, it’ll be nice to have a day of freedom to look forward to rather than the “hurry up and wait” of trying to do dinner with the family.

My next challenge: convincing the kid that Maid Of Honor sounds like a good movie.

Job Woes: I take it back. May 9, 2008

I felt a surge of happiness at my job today, it was short lived.  My boss called me in to talk to me, surprise, surprise, someone’s complaining about me.  It’s been this way as long as I’ve worked here because of who I’m related to, if I ever do anything wrong or that they think is wrong.  Even though my schedule has been the same way the whole school year, now that it’s May someone’s complaining that I come in after I drop Braiden off at school.  My boss doesn’t have a problem with it, why should anyone else.  Now I have to either finegle coming in before that or take less breaks to make up the minutes.  Or if I’d rather change my schedule around however I like I can work later!  What the hell?  I cannot wait until it’s time to leave why would I want to stay longer and what in the world would I do?

It just makes me want to cry.  Part of me wants to scream “I’m here everyday and go above and beyond not to inconvenience anyone when I’m not!”.  Some days it’s physically hard to get out bed with the way I feel about another wasted day, a day I do nothing of purpose.  I can’t wait til something finally works out and I can just put in my two weeks and walk away.  My other job environment isn’t perfect, but I just thrive in it.

Now I’m back to my usual routine of checking the job listings online and seeing if ones I’ve applied for are still in the search process.  Slim pickings this week

Much to my relief, the one I want hasn’t been filled even though it’s been taken off the website.  I’d love, love, love an interview for it!  I updated my online profile like they suggested and HR be watching for my transfer app to make it’s way from my hospital.  It’s not full time, the good ones never are it seems but it’s 12s.  I could keep my contingent position and maybe pick up extra hours to make up the difference.  Just knowing it’s not closed makes me feel a bit better - I just need to know there’s a light at the end of this tunnel.

Flippers May 9, 2008

I shouldn’t complain about free shoes but why would you buy a boy that loves to get dirty white shoes?  His grandma never fails to get them every time she buys him some.  After two weeks and a good cleaning they still look dirty and the laces are shot.  Blue, brown, green, black - all perfectly acceptable. 

This new pair are a size 5.  A size 5!  I can wear a boys 5, in fact I have a couple of pairs in my closet.  Too bad he’s always getting muddy or he’d look super cute in them. 

I know I should be used to it but it still surprises me when he grows so much.  And how creepy his feet are, they’re exactly like his dad’s

Scared Straight May 7, 2008

Yesterday was the day nothing goes right. The cable guy showed up 4 hrs early and left. Twice. I was notified that I’d be able to use a concession stand “cooler” for food I’ll be selling at Relay. I have no idea what that means so we’ll see how much room that’ll be. I noticed after bedtime there was one more homework thing we were supposed to do and didn’t. Among other things.

I thought exercising would help, but I felt unenthusiastic and still in need of something. I needed to veg. I put on a scary movie and watched parts through the holes in the afghan. I spent another hour reading before bed and had to dive under the covers when I clicked the light off so I wouldn’t think about The Dead Man. Apparently scaring the crap out of myself is therapeutic. But it worked.

No matter how shitty the day might feel, no one or no thing is trying to kill me or my loved ones, so I should be grateful

OTH Daily Dose May 6, 2008

A sixth season is coming! It always makes sucky plots or seasons ending that much better know there’s more to come. I can’t wait to see what Schwanny’s got up his sleeve.

Braiden has become engrossed in the show now that little cutie pie James Lucas Scott has come into the picture. He’s completely on edge with what will happen between he and Grandpa Dan.

Thanks to the previews, next week will have to be one I watch first to see where the Peyton/Lucas sexcapades happen, we don’t need to have the conversation again for a while. Though the promo monkeys could be eluding to something that won’t even happen so who knows.

I don’t think Dan’s really going to die. I think someone else is and it’s a fakeout. It’s only a matter of time before Dan comes back into the fold somehow and is a central character again.

Voto! May 6, 2008

This face will give me nightmares for weeks to come.  Yet I find myself transfixed.

I’m excited, I’ve not voted in a primary before.  I’m also excited to vote against her today to do my part to insure I don’t have to see the evil eyes for the next four years.  Other than the usual skulking during Presidential addresses that is.

It burns my toast a bit that I’ve heard jack from any Republican candidates, because it’s Indiana they don’t need to even bother?  They may want to step it up a tad since it is oh, an election year. Whatever I guess. (Though it is pretty cool Ron Paul is on the ballot - wtg old fella.)

God’s gift to women May 5, 2008

Men you say?  Chocolate, tampons?   Spanx.

I realized it was the key ingredient missing when I tried on my bridesmaid dress before that I just couldn’t place. They make all the difference  Oh sweet creation from Heaven, why did I think I could go this one alone?  

Nope, in the wise words of Dolly Parton: “These thighs haven’t gone out of the house without lycra on them since I was 14.”

Twisted Sister May 2, 2008

My sister’s going in for a scan on her remaining ovary today, after experiencing abnormal amounts of pain. I thought she’d been keeping up with the preventative scans - nope my dad says he mentioned it when it was time for the last one a couple months ago but since everything was fine it didn’t happen.  If my dad doesn’t make them do things and keep appts they just won’t, so frustrating.  She and my mom both need a case manager!

She wanted both ovaries removed before but the doctor wouldn’t do it, they probably should have and saved her the trouble of a fourth surgery.  I’m glad she can be so calm about this stuff, being not quite 18 probably helps, it just makes me nervous. 

Grump May 1, 2008

Ugh. I’m so sick of the seeing the flipping Miley Cyrus pictures and everyone’s gripes on her decent to Lohandom. How are impressionable 5 year olds going to see a Vanity Fair photo spread clearly intended for adult readership? By putting it on every media outlet know to man, that’s how.

It doesn’t help that she’s one of those people that just grate my nerves…not the most entertaining on the show, some kind of kid prodigy, or worthy of role model status. Certainly not worthy of so much press.

Wishing Wisdom April 30, 2008

Peyton: Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want. Everything you want.

Lucas: Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is going to come from, the next smile. The next wish come true.

Peyton: But if you believe that it is right around the corner. And you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it. To the certainty of it.

Brooke: You just might get the thing you’re wishing for.

Nathan: The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it?

Haley: Good. Now believe in it. With all your heart.