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Putting this in “things I love” promptly…

I almost screeched out loud – such perfection! 

A stunner from Cake Lava

Love the colors and how it needs nothing but itself!  Possibly so shocking when I was enjoying some Wrecks.

On another baking note, I’m kind of set of visiting the Baking Institute in SF, though not sure how my chauffeur will feel about the detour.  I just want to absorb some perfection (and aroma of the weekend bread classes).

 
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Posted by on June 17, 2010 in Random

 

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Upper

A couple days after being totally disappointed by sucky people, so eloquent I know, I’m excited by new possibilities.  The lesson I should learn is to ask for what I really want and I just might get it, after advertising for *exactly* what I really wanted – I got the perfect call.  No settling, no ‘this would help’ or ‘work for now’. 

That kind of thinking is just not my strong suit – I’m good at making due, not so much at making strides.  Unfortunately, there isn’t someone to hit me over the head immediately when I’m being stupid!

 
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Posted by on June 16, 2010 in Personal, Thoughts

 

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Chenbot!

Good lord, how I need Big Brother 12 to start, I haven’t watched more than an hour of television in weeks. 

I’m starting to languish from lack of motivation to sit in the chair.  And have been totally worn out and going to bed in a timely fashion from so much unnecessary outdoor activity.

 
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Posted by on June 14, 2010 in Random

 

Lofty Goals

I’ve only crossed off one goal off of my life list in the last couple years.  Think I may be going about this the wrong way *snort* Maybe I need to substitute serious things with items I can actually cross off.  Lowering standards a bit for the sake of my self esteem – yes. 

Even better – take down the stupid list from where I have to see it!

 
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Posted by on June 10, 2010 in Personal, Random

 

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A few random thoughts on our Spring Break.

1.  Other people’s kids are really fun when you know they’re going home at 4pm.

2. Kids are happiest when playing in a cardboard box or something weird found at the bottom of the toybox.

3.  Cannot believe I wanted 5 children for the longest time, though it’s been a good week with the big kids home I had visions of what Dawn Meehan’s life is like every day, all day.  I would be wiped.

4. Blue bubble gum from Grandma-Easter Bunny was a terrible idea.  If only B would’ve got it in his hair instead of the hilariously spotty carpet so I could cut it.

 
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Posted by on April 7, 2010 in At Home, Random

 

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Striking out.

I’m like the most uncoolest mom ever, lately.  After the drama of the neighborhood bully-at-the-busstop incident, I decided to stand firm on the subject of his younger brother.  I sat down B and E after school the following day and made it very clear that said brother was not welcome to play at my house aka live there between 4 and 7 pm, unless he was willing to make a change in his own behavior and be a real and decent friend.  And sat him down and had a talk when he enevitably showed up as if the day before hadn’t happened.

Literally had to explain that it’s not acceptable to just be nice when his brother isn’t around and that putting up with or participating in foul language and bad behavior when the brother is there is not appropriate friend behavior.  “Be a friend all the time or you’re not a friend at all” was met with crickets.  “But we apologized at school” *sigh*  as if that’s a free pass to go right back to the same ole.  I’d give about anything for a nice neighbor kid for B to play with at night or on the weekend.

Neighbor kid been by several times and I’ve told him the same thing each time and had a very upset B today, but I just won’t budge.  Though I will keep my word if he does indeed turn things around, I don’t care if they ever play again, no matter how bad I feel about the family dynamics going on at his house.  I have enough problems.

 
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Posted by on March 23, 2010 in At Home

 

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Hind Sight

If only I saw a therapist, I could probably have my issues ‘fixed’ by now.  Stop laughing, maybe I could’ve

Last summer if felt like my internal world was cracking, though it had been building since about a year ago.  I’m pretty good at keeping the plates spinning most the time but I must’ve let one fall as my grandparents seemed to be concerned at a family gathering in May.  I thought they were being their usual grandparenty selves ha.  Though they treaded lightly, looking back I appreciate them making the effort to a say a few things over the next months.  And maybe I’ll figure out how to officially say thanks.

Looking back a bit further, I’m able to see now just how much I was affected by being booted out the door of a job I held, and hated, for so much of my adult life.

That miserable going-no-where job was the one thing keeping me together through every parenting self-doubt, financial woe, up all night crying boyfriend fight, frustration or disappointment.  It was my spouse – no matter what mess I went home to – in the morning I had constistency & stability.  And sure, boredom.  Being the boss’ daughter I had no choice but to try to always be agreeable, do more than my share, never call in sick.  And though I hated it and daydreamed of leaving triumphantly while I spend the day sending out resumes ha, how could I leave?

And while I’m thankful for a way to leave what I’ve now described as the Ike Turner of jobs, no matter how much I have a desire to make my own way – I’m missing the constant.  I guess I couldn’t be married to my job forever.

 
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Posted by on March 6, 2010 in Personal, Thoughts

 

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